hospital employee benefit flyer #1

Back during the summer, the hospital management dreamed up the ``Success 2000'' program. This is their way of taking care of the employees, without whom the hospital can't run.

This memo describes the program. You weren't supposed to see it, so don't click on the link.

In October, a flier was distributed to several of the hospital employees. This flier describes features of the ``Success 2000'' program and how they benefit the employees. The text of the flier follows.

Success 2000 Employee Benefit Program
feature benefit to employee

eliminate free coffee lower blood pressure, reduced kidney stress, less time lost to breaks
increase food charge weight loss from eating less, less change weighing down pockets
eliminate birthday meal tickets reduced aging, perpetual youth
eliminate flowers less chance of allergies
eliminate Christmas party less danger of accidental choking, fewer distractions from work
eliminate gift certificates no need to fight with the crush of holiday shoppers
eliminate raises reduced income taxes. note: this feature may not be available to some levels of management.
reduce tuition coverage brain to be less cluttered with trivia from classes.
eliminate pension match no need to have extra paycheck deduction for that pesky pension.
cut pension contribution by 20%:
5% ­> 4%
when we said ‘‘mirror F.R.S.’’ we didn’t promise to clean the glass. besides, many people will be fooled into thinking it’s only a 1% cut.
increase prescription co-pay
you pay 50% more
drugs are bad for you. just say ‘‘no’’. we’re here to help.
eliminate disability programs employees will stay healthy and able to work. please, no worker’s comp claims either.

Hospital finances may be sound. Bills may be paid timely. Please don’t call Commissioners Jeff Portman (736-9411), Raymond Long (734-1375), and Steve Deluca (734-6654) to share your feelings about Success 2000.

Legal mumbo-jumbo: I’m obliged to tell you that this is a paid political advertisement provided in kind by

Tanner Andrews,
P.O. Box 1208,
DeLand, FLA 32721.
Andrews paid for the distribution, too, independent of any campaign or committee. No candidate has approved this material. Full details will be filed timely with the Supervisor’s office.

from @(#)s2000-1.txt 1.0 19-Oct-1999

proc by hmac.ta2