Pink Friends Will Pretend to Game Search Engines | #4 - Microsoft

Microsoft. Yes, Microsoft. You know them from the great Windows-7 debacle. You trust them to install and run spyware on your computer. You loved their Windows-10 auto-upgrade plan, though you were a little concerned about the huge volume of data downloaded.

And now Microsoft are offering to assist in optimizing your web page. Remember, your web page is great, so if you are not getting the traffic you want then it is obviously someone else's fault.

Well, we will not waste time pointing fingers. Instead, we will waste money by sending it to smelly little scammers, located in remote foreign lands, who happily send pink e-mails promoting SEO wizardry. In keeping with the Microsoft traditions of quality, many of the words are spelled correctly.

So, having determined that you need a dodgy SEO expert, why not pick the best? You can pick one who qualifies as a Microsoft Partner ® and so gets to use a Microsoft Outlook or Hotmail maildrop. There is no reason not to insist on the best.

With that decided, all you need to do now is decide which smelly little scammer gets your money:

Get in touch with the SEO experts. They will furnish all the information you need to send money abroad. If you are feeling really bold, you could even allow these people to touch your web site. If you do that and people find out, then you will be considered mentally ``special''.

All transactions are backed by the Microsoft Assurance:

Tell your friends about the Microsoft Asssurance!